All these years later
“I put down all my successes and all the good things that have happened to me to finding the right family,” says Graham, a student nurse who was adopted 23 years ago through Be My Parent.
Graham as he was featured in Be My Parent This year, Be My Parent is celebrating its 30th anniversary. To celebrate, and to remind potential adopters about the real difference adoption can make to a child’s life, here is the story of a boy whose adoption allowed him to become the man he is today.
Graham’s adoption journey began in 1984 when he was ten. He was living in a children’s home and, as he says, was “very lucky to have had a terrific experience in care, but nothing can replace a real family.” Graham’s social worker decided to feature him in the Be My Parent book.
“The first thing I remember is having my photograph taken for my profile,” says Graham. “That’s when I realised they were actually looking for a family for me. While I was featured, my social worker let me know what was happening, which made me feel more secure, as I knew I couldn’t stay in the home forever. Being featured certainly helped.”
Graham’s adoptive father, Bill, one of the first single male adopters in the UK, initially met him as a general visitor to the home. He spent time talking to Graham, and a few months later was introduced as Graham’s new family, along with his other adopted son, Chris.
“My adoption became a reality when my dad discovered entry 49 in Be My Parent,” says Graham. “When I was introduced to my family in 1985, I was not being placed with a friend who may one day become my parent; I was placed with my dad who already recognised me as his son. I found it quite easy to call him ‘Dad’, because it was something I wanted.
“I joined my family with a mixture of emotions. It was strange to let go of the people I had always known, but I gained a strong feeling of security. Our unwavering commitment on both sides made it all possible.”
When I ask Graham how being adopted affected him, he doesn’t hesitate: “Being adopted dramatically changed my life,” he says straightaway. “It’s hard to say what my life would have been like otherwise. I’ve been so lucky with my family; my dad is incredibly supportive and he has brought out the confidence in me to do well. I can remember what I was like as a child, how nervous I was. Fast track to now and I realise how privileged I am to be adopted. My journey is something I’m proud of.”
Speaking to Graham provides a strong reminder of how important it is that every child has a family, and he is just one example of the thousands of children who have been placed through Be My Parent. Mixed with our celebration of all the children who have been placed through three successful decades is our fervent hope that adopters will continue to come forward, to give a home to the thousands of children who are still waiting.
Felicity Francis
Have a look at some of the children who are waiting for a new family right now.
Originally published in the Be My Parent newspaper in November 2010.
This article is published with the kind permission of the people involved. You may download it for your own reference but if you wish to use it for any other purpose, please contact Be My Parent for authorisation: Be My Parent, BAAF, Saffron House, 6-10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Telephone: 020 7421 2666.
Last updated: 28 October 10
