Children's experiences of adoption
Stories from children who have been adopted, and children whose parents have adopted
It’s all sort of complicated…
By Chrystal, aged 14
I was so scared getting ready for my first day at my new school (at around ten), but I was petrified about telling them about me and my family. I arrived at school and spent the day with my new friends, but didn’t tell anyone [I was adopted]. I didn’t know how they’d react. I was so scared that they would laugh at me or that they would shunt me aside and treat me like an outcast, so I kept it to myself for a few days.
On the following Thursday at lunchtime, all the girls were telling me about their brothers and sisters, then one of them turned to me and said, ‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’ I didn’t know what to say in reply: ‘Erm…well…it’s all sort of…complicated,’ So I went on to tell them about me and my two sisters being adopted, my two adoptive brothers and my foster sister. After I had told them I sat there, waiting for their reaction. I expected them not to understand, but they were the complete opposite, they wanted to know more about me and about adoption. They asked loads of questions which made me realise I shouldn’t really be that bothered about telling people about myself because they’ll understand and care if they’re real friends.
My family are bonkers!
By John-Paul, aged 14
I have Down’s syndrome and I am adopted. My family, especially Mum, are bonkers, but nice! I am really loved and I love them lots. I am very happy, life is fun. Dad is a headteacher. Mum teaches me at home. I have three grown-up sisters – Paulette, Nicolette (who is married to Ewan) and Adrienne who is engaged to Julian, who taught me to play Nintendo; I surprised my family by being good at it. I have some pets: a dog, a budgie, two tarantulas and a goldfish. We also share our home with a friendly ghostly monk! I do so many interesting and exciting things. Down’s syndrome and being adopted are OK by me.
My noisy little brother
By Nina, aged 11
Our family have adopted a little boy. He’s at the terrible-three stage. Sometimes he is hard work, but sometimes he is really cute. He is really quite easy to handle, even though when he doesn’t like a piece of food he just spits it out. Lovely!
He is frightened of a lot of things. We have to try and teach him not to be frightened, which is hard. He wakes up with nightmares or things like that and comes into my mum and dad’s bed. It’s lucky that my sister and I sleep upstairs, otherwise we would probably be woken up too. Phew! He is small but he makes a big noise. He loves to crash cars and make our toy animals fight. It seems he never stops yapping except when he’s asleep. I feel like saying, ‘Shut up’, but I’m much too polite!
I love my dads more than the stars in the sky…
By Sam, aged 10
Hi, my name is Sam and I’m ten. I live with my two dads. They’re adopting me. I came from an awful situation living in a children’s home and many foster homes since I was quite young. So as you can see I’ve had a hard life. I came to them with heaps of muddles and sadness. My dads have helped me with everything – they listen and try to understand. They’ve taught me so much – especially to think for myself and solve my own problems. To be a dad is someone I want to grow up to be like when I’m an adult – and I’m lucky to have two. When I have my own children (if I choose to have any) I want my dads to help me teach them the stuff they’ve taught me: to be good people, to be caring, to look after the world. And how to enjoy life!
Do you know why it’s cool to have two dads? Because when one is doing the work around the house the other one has some time to play. At other times they change around. Sometimes, we do jobs together, like cooking or shopping…We love each other heaps and have a lot of fun together as a family.
This extract was taken from the article My dads are the coolest people ever!!!
These extracts are taken from a collection of stories previously published in Be My Parent and were published in this format in the November 2007 issue.
Photograph posed by models.
This article is published with the kind permission of the people involved. You may download it for your own reference but if you wish to use it for any other purpose, please contact Be My Parent for authorisation: Be My Parent, BAAF, Saffron House, 6-10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Telephone: 020 7421 2666/5/4.
Last updated: 04 January 08
