Finding the right family can be hard

The law says that all children should have the opportunity, wherever possible, to grow up in a permanent family which has a similar ethnic, cultural, religious and linguistic background to that of their birth family. In practice, for social workers, adoption and fostering panels and prospective families, it’s very much a question of the best compromise for each individual child.

Social workers will always try to place children in families who have a similar background. The ideal is a 100% match,” says Karina, a London-based social worker of Asian descent, but if this is not possible we look at a 50% match, for example a couple where at least one parent shares the same heritage.”

There are a number of different things to take into account, explains Karina, saying: “The older a child gets, the more aware they are of ethnic groups, and without appropriate support from their new family, they could feel deprived. The type of family we place a child with depends on the child’s age and attachment to their birth family.” The agency also looks at the child’s culture and religion, and where appropriate the child and birth parents’ wishes. “As long as something in the family relates to the child,” says Karina, “we can consider them as a possibility for that child.”

One Christian dual-heritage family was approved to permanently foster a child of a similar background, although he was of the Muslim faith, as they were willing to take him to the mosque and community groups, and to meet his dietary needs – Halal food and no pork. “Access to other cultures is widely available nowadays in London,” Karina says. “It’s about commitment – how committed are you to developing a child’s identity and what would you do? We look at what the family can provide for the child, together with community resources, out-of-school activities and so on.”

Her agency also offers training to families on developing identity, and identity work can be undertaken with children. Finding the right kind of family is hard, but “you keep on going until you come to the time when you have to choose,” says Karina. “Sometimes there is no one, which is very disheartening. Or you may have gone through a lot to find a family, and then it all falls through. Occasionally, you take a family to panel, and, frustratingly, the panel members don’t see the situation realistically and ask you to continue looking...”

However, more families are coming forward, both to adopt and to long-term foster. “Success depends on good funding and good campaigning,” says Karina, “and my agency are also keen to keep the families we recruit, making sure that they stay motivated no matter what.”

Karina is a pseudonym.

Interview by Suzanne Harding. Originally published in the Be My Parent newspaper in July 2004.

This article is published with the kind permission of the people involved. You may download it for your own reference but if you wish to use it for any other purpose, please contact Be My Parent for authorisation: Be My Parent, BAAF, Saffron House, 6-10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Telephone: 020 7421 2666/5/4.

Last updated: 10 September 07

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