The Best Friend... Helen
“My job is to be somebody who notices.”
Penny and I are more like sisters than friends. We met in the mid-90s when we did teacher training, and since then, we’ve shared a house together, travelled together, and now gone through adoption together…
I actually thought about adopting first. Then we both split up with our partners around the same time, and Penny decided to go to a meeting about adoption. I went too, but as her support. Just before Penny went to panel, I decided to go down the adoption route – so although I’m a year behind, I can understand the process.
Since Penny has adopted, I’ve welcomed the opportunity to lend her support. She’s very self-sufficient and I probably leant more on her in the past. Unless you are close to Penny, you might not even realise that she needs any help. So my job is to be somebody who notices.
I don’t think my relationship with Penny has changed since Nathan joined her, but I’m very aware of the implications of me adopting as well, especially how I will maintain my support. I also have to think about how it will affect my relationship with Nathan, who sees me as a piece of the furniture – in the nicest possible way!
Being a big part of Penny’s support network has been an eye opener. I’ve always known Penny was wonderful, but I couldn’t possibly have imagined that she would be such a wonderful parent. Being part of her life since she has adopted has allowed me to see her in a totally different light: I’ve seen amore patient, vulnerable side. And I’m just filled with admiration.
Last updated: 02 July 09
