Preparing children for being featured on the internet

Direct work with children – key principles and values

We need to be clear about what underpins this area of work. I would suggest that the following are integral to direct work generally when preparing children for permanence and are therefore relevant here:

• Children have a right to accurate, age-appropriate information about their past and about plans for their future. Information should include material which seeks to explain the actions of social care staff and the courts but also incorporates relevant perspectives from the birth family.

• Children are more likely to establish and maintain trust in their worker when direct work sessions are planned regularly to provide explanations and information as well as seeking the child’s views. In the absence of regular opportunities to ask questions and voice concerns, children are less likely to share any anxieties they may have with carers and staff.

• Direct work with children which allows them to exercise appropriate choice and control can help to reduce children’s feelings of anger and powerlessness. This is important as many of the children we work with have experienced little or no control over what happens in their lives, they have often been exposed to chaotic and inadequate standards of care as well as multiple changes. A significant number of children will continue to experience a high level of change either as a consequence of becoming looked after or whilst being looked after: placement changes; separation from siblings; loss of contact with family members.

• Communication with children is likely to be enhanced by using a flexible range of age appropriate materials that take account of the child’s interests, abilities and preferences. Tangible means of recording children’s views and perceptions not only allow for children to contribute and to check what has been conveyed but also provide an important means of validating feelings.

Why use the Internet, does it work and what has been the experience of children and young people featured?

2.1 Unless we have thought through these issues for ourselves, then it’s going to be hard to explain the rationale to any child or young person that we are preparing. We have very limited experience in the UK of using the internet as a familyfinding tool, so it’s helpful to consider what we can learn from other countries who have used the internet to find new families.

Experience in USA and Canada of using the internet to feature children

2.2 In October 1995, the National Adoption Center was the first agency to feature children available for adoption through pictures and profiles on the Internet. In 2000, it received a federal grant to develop the web site. A survey of adoptive families found that families who first read about the children on the National Adoption Center website went on to adopt about 1,800 foster children from between October 2000 and October 2002. See National Adoption Center website, www.adopt.org. Many of these children have also been featured in television news segments called ‘Wednesday’s Child.’ Gloria Hochman, the centre’s director of communication and marketing, believes the internet is effective because it can offer instant information. She says ‘In the beginning, it was the one place people could go and get information and ask questions without fear of someone judging them.’

How do children and young people feel about this method of family finding?

2.3 The National Adoption Centre’s experience is that some young people say they don’t mind being singled out for publicity purposes as part of the adoption search process. But they want more of a voice in the process: ‘They never asked us what kind of family we wanted’ said one 21-year-old adoptee. ‘When you read the profiles, it seems like the negatives outnumber the positives. They need to put more good in’

2.4 Another teenage adoptee said he liked the attention that came with adoption recruitment efforts. His picture was on the front of a brochure, along with quotes from him. ‘I felt like I was a star or something’ he said. They made me feel really good, said things about me that I didn’t see in myself, like that I was ‘intelligent and an avid reader.’

2.5 Not everyone has been comfortable with being ‘marketed’ or featured in this way. One young person wrote about her feelings in the July/August 2002 issue Foster Care Youth United magazine. ‘I felt like the family was trying to buy us’ she wrote about one couple, she and her sister eventually decided to remain in foster care.

Respecting the child’s feelings – what to include and what not to include?

2.6 Diane Delafield, the founding director of Campaigns for Kids, a non-profit adoption and foster parent-recruiting firm, says marketing efforts must be respectful of children. ‘I’ve read in some profiles that a child has been suicidal or a bed-wetter. I don’t think a child’s neighbour or friend should be able to obtain that kind of information,’ says Delafield.

2.7 Delafield said Campaigns for Kids works to prepare children who are the subject of marketing efforts, to help them see themselves as advocates for the thousands of children needing adoptive homes. ‘Details about emotional troubles and disabilities can come later one-on-one between the potential parents and the child’s caseworker’ says Delafield. But other adoption advocates believe the profiles need to be upfront about children’s challenges - otherwise agencies may be flooded with calls from potential parents ill-equipped to care for a troubled child.

2.8 Maggie Cotton is a former foster child who has written the child profiles for the Northwest Adoption Exchange for many years. At the site, as at many of the best adoption websites, children are described in honest but compassionate language. The pictures are vivid and candid. Here’s an excerpt from one of Cotton’s profiles:

‘Megan is a lovely child with a delightful singing voice who loves to perform in front of an audience. Megan has been participating in Little League softball and soccer, and enjoys swimming, staking, riding her bike and playing on the trampoline. For a child who was severely neglected and deprived during early childhood, she has come a long way.’

2.9 Cotton says she avoids including diagnoses like attention deficit disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder. ‘The word ‘diagnosis’ implies forever or for a long time’ said Cotton. ‘You can’t overestimate what having a permanent family can do for a child’s temperament.’

Privacy and Human Rights Worries

2.10 In Alberta, Canada, controversy erupted over a new government-run adoption website. Critics said the site violated children’s privacy and risked attracting paedophiles. In one case, three foster children were featured on the website before being told they were available for adoption. They learned about it from classmates at school.

2.11 Their information was removed, and the province’s privacy commissioner temporarily shut down the site while detailed information about children’s previous traumatic experiences and medical and emotional health was removed.

2.12 Adoption advocates say they know of cases in the U.S. in which children were thrust into the public spotlight before being informed they were available for adoption. But they say they don’t know of any cases where a child’s safety was compromised. No town or city information is listed for any child, and the child’s last name is never included.

Pictures, Voices Capture Attention

2.13 Those involved say that the success of marketing efforts often hinges on the quality of a photograph, or the sound of a child’s voice – using an audio clip - something personal that creates a feeling of connection to a child.

2.14 Delafield has experienced that feeling first hand. As a 50-year-old divorced and remarried woman, she wasn’t considering motherhood when she heard Jesse speak during recording for a Campaigns for Kids radio program. ‘I just want somebody to love me. That’s all,’ said Jesse.

2.15 Something about Jesse touched Delafield. She and her husband became his foster parents, then adopted him. Now she can hardly imagine life without Jesse. As for Jesse, his report cards are studded with A’s, and he has starred in several school plays, and wants to study theatre in college.

Trying to Expand Options

2.16 The ‘Meet the Children’ page at www.AdoptUSkids.org asks simple questions to help the enquirer limit his or her search range:

• What gender child would you consider?
• What is the age of the youngest child you can adopt?
• What is the age of the oldest child you can adopt?
• What race child are you interested in? (Check all that apply.)

2.17 When he saw it, Barbara Holtan’s adult son Seth was appalled. ‘Mom, it’s like they’re shopping for cars’ said Seth, now 29. He was adopted when he was seven. Holtan was distressed by Seth’s reaction. But as the executive director of the Adoption Exchange Association, which runs the website under a five-year, $22 million federal contract, she is also determined to find homes for as many children as possible. Holtan believes that by helping would-be parents narrow their search to those children they feel most capable of parenting well, more adoption matches will be made.

2.18 In the USA more than 130,000 boys and girls nationwide are ‘legal orphans’ which means their parents have lost the legal right to raise them, usually because of abuse or neglect. Most are school-aged, many are teenagers, and many are part of sibling groups that ideally should be placed together in a home. Many have physical, emotional or educational needs; 60 percent are from black and minority ethnic groups.

2.19 At AdoptUSKids.org, people can read profiles and see pictures of 2,685 children. The goal is to increase that to 6,000. In one month there were 181,632 visitors to the site, who looked at more than 8 million pages. Profiles stress the children’s strengths, but they also often list emotional, physical and mental problems. Dozens of other organizations and all states have a website featuring children available for adoption.

‘When the day comes that our country decides children are genuinely important and gives enough resources for raising and nurturing them adequately I will stand on my soap box and declare ‘Stop this marketing of children,’ says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, But we haven’t reached that day, and we only give lip service to children’s needs, so people trying to help the children day in and day out have to do what they can to help them. And marketing children on websites does indeed help them find families.’

Involving and Preparing Children and Young People

An Effort to Involve Children and Young People
In Indiana teenagers who had been through the process made a number of suggestions. Among them:

• Young people need to be more involved in seeking out adoptive homes for themselves.
• Young people should be kept better informed about the recruitment effort.
• Children should be interviewed for their own profiles.
• Children should also be asked what kind of adoptive family they wanted.
• Marketing efforts should concentrate more on the potential of waiting children, and less on past problems i.e. listing fewer negative characteristics about each child in his or her profile.
• Profiles should include quality colour pictures, with both pictures and profiles updated every few months.

Other points that I would suggest you address are:

The child’s understanding of the internet.

For example, have they used the internet to access information at home or at school? If so, build on this aspect – children who have used the internet are often well impressed with its power whilst others may be so familiar that they take it for granted! If the child is of school age, can the class teacher incorporate any helpful points? Some nurseries use computers – so if you are working with pre-school children check this out.

Explain why you are thinking about this method of homefinding, be prepared to answer any questions or to find out the answers.

For example, it’s worked for other children, it can help more people to know about children like you.

How comfortable and familiar are the child’s foster carers/residential workers with using the internet?

The views of adults can have a big impact, so make sure you discuss this with key people who are working with the child. How can they reinforce positive aspects of using the internet (i.e. access information, empower people to find out more etc.,)

Explain the reach of the internet.

For example, most households now have access to a home computer and the internet. Adults who might be thinking about fostering or adoption can find out lots of information about adoption and fostering. If your agency has a website with relevant information, consider showing the child this or another website with relevant information. Also look at and consider showing the child aspects from Adoption UK, BAAF, Be My Parent etc., which are all excellent sources in this regard.

Consider and wherever possible, explain the different types of information that can be incorporated in an internet homefinding feature.

For example, audio and video clips of the child, you, their foster carer and perhaps their class teacher. Involve the child/young person by asking trigger questions such as: Who knows you best at school/at the swimming club you go to? The child may be attracted to the idea of some of these key people talking about the child’s strengths and talents. Drawings can be scanned in. If the child has any certificates from school, from sporting activities etc., think about scanning one or more of these in.

Involve children in helping to identify what information is included about them and the type of family that they need.

Be realistic about the balance – explain to the child why it’s important for possible new families to know certain pieces of information about the child’s needs as well as their strengths.

Photographs

Photographs involve the child in planning where and when these will be taken. Explain what type of photograph you think is best and why – head and shoulders shot of the child looking directly at the camera. Use at least one of this type of photo’ even if the child selects other ‘distant’ activity-based photographs that they also want to have included. Think about using the photographs as a talking point in the child’s profile, for example: Josh wanted a photograph of him playing football in his Manchester United top because he wants you to know that he needs a new family who can share his passion for football and his favourite team!

Last updated: 07 August 07

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