Contact

What happened to me will never happen again Annie was adopted as a baby in the 1960s, when things were very different: there was little or no contact with a child’s birth family, nor information, photographs or mementoes.

It's better to know where you come from Sometimes birth relatives can work together with a child’s adoptive or foster family to help answer some of their questions - one way of doing this is through contact.

Direct contact: What seems to work “One size does not fit all,” says Julia from After Adoption, “and what is comforting to one family may be stressful to another. Most important of all is for the adopters to be very clear on why the contact is happening and what it is seeking to achieve for the child.”

Loving each child as an individual
Anna joined Sally and her husband, Mark, a white couple, when she was two years old and was adopted a year later. The couple also foster and have an older child of their own.

Having the courage to live with what has happened
Julia Mansfield tells Henrietta Bond about the lessons After Adoption has learned about contact. “In all issues around contact,” says Julia, “you need to put in preparation and planning.”

Ongoing contact with foster carers - what do you think?
Foster carers should be allowed to stay in contact with the children they have looked after was the point made by Gill in the May 2004 issue of Be My Parent. Gill’s letter moved some readers deeply...

Last updated: 26 May 10

Back to previous