The process

From this day on... So the day has finally come when you can legally adopt the child who is going to be ‘yours’ forever... Sophie Offord talks to some families about what the day meant for them and their adoptive children.

"It's jolly good fun!" Isobel Plumstead has been a judge for almost 20 years and has always specialised in family law. She takes some time out of her busy schedule to reassure Be My Parent readers about going to court for an adoption order.

The importance of rituals Isabelle Rameau, Be My Parent's Editor, writes about why rituals and routines are particularly important for looked after children: they are constants that help them manage their everyday lives, and feel more safe and secure.

All your questions answered... All your common questions answered about the adoption order, from whether foster carers have to go through a similar process, to who actually pays the court fees.

Adoption day! "My family always celebrates October 16. Why? It’s not my birthday, it’s not Christmas, but it is the day when two years ago I went to the High Court of Justice in the Strand with my family." James, an 11-year-old boy, remembers the day of his adoption hearing.

Cause for celebration At some point in the adoption process, you’re going to hear the words ‘adoption day’: this is just an informal way of talking about the day you go to court to have an ‘adoption order’ granted...

We feel so privileged to be their parents A profile, some photos and a video clip was all it took for Rachel and her husband to decide that the two little girls she saw on the Be My Parent website could be their daughters...

Adoption timeline It’s hard to give firm answers as to how long the adoption process takes, but here is a rough guide.

The best thing we've ever done Carol and Tony think they’ve got a normal family, full of normal ups and downs – with a daughter who just ‘happens’ to be adopted!

We were meant to be a family Lorna assumed she would adopt a single child, no more than two years old, and hopefully a baby. So how did she fall in love with a brother and sister, now aged nine and seven?

We've learned a lot about ourselves Every family who wants to adopt has to find an adoption agency to assess and approve them. David and Ricardo adopted Maria and Matthew seven years ago, but still clearly recall those early days.

With a little help from your friends Whatever stage you’re at in the adoption or fostering process, chances are you will have heard of the term ‘support network’. This chunky phrase sounds quite intimidating, but, actually, there’s no need to panic…

Is my social worker part of my support network?
Your social worker is not part of your support network the way that friends and family are, and cannot provide the same emotional support. But they are certainly there to help you and the placement succeed.

Getting people "on side"
Mary, a counsellor and support worker, helps run frequent one-off events that are proving very popular with prospective adopters in Portsmouth. She lets Sophie Offord in on the secret…

Resilience and self-confidence...
As an assessing and supervising social worker in the Brighton & Hove adoption team, Carol has placed three children with gay or lesbian adopters over the last four years, and is about to take another couple to panel. She talks to Isabelle Rameau about her experience…

Come on Social Services...
It’s time to let go of your prejudices and recognise that gay adopters have a lot to offer…

Be proactive, get support, keep learning...
Jan and Owen were recently matched with a group of three girls, whom they first saw in Be My Parent. Along the way, Jan had many questions...

A listening ear...
Patricia McGinty is Be My Parent’s Child Placement Consultant. Her work includes responding to adoption and fostering enquiries from social work agencies and families. Here she answers some common questions...

Could it be me?
Mo is Director of Child Placement Services for BAAF, has a social work background and has specialised in adoption and fostering for over 30 years. Here she answers some of your questions...

Opening up to adoption
Nicky and Robin, a married white couple, and their birth daughter Emily, felt their family was not complete. That was until they decided to adopt Kathy...

Meet the panel!
Your agency is about to decide whether to approve you to adopt or foster, after the very thorough, complex and lengthy assessment phase.

All I’ve ever wanted is for her to be happy...
Linda was 18 years old when she gave birth to Faith, who was adopted shortly after. Forty years later, she is able to share her experiences and views on adoption as a birth mother…

I’m a family’s first port of call
Social worker Gina assesses people to become adopters, and continues to provide support up until a family is granted the final adoption order.

Giving something back
Daisy has been an independent member of an adoption panel for two years. Adopted herself, she finds being part of a panel an incredibly rewarding experience, and is glad to be able to ‘give something back’...

What is an adoption exchange event?
Once you have been approved as an adoptive parent, your agency may invite you to an adoption exchange event. Why might it be useful and how can you get the best out of it?

Preparing for panel
Sylvia is Adoption Team manager for the London Borough of Lewisham. She explains how she works with adopters to prepare them for going to panel…

It's all about the children
When Sharon and Rohan decided they wanted to provide a permanent home for the children they had fostered, they embarked on a whole new journey.

Third time lucky…
After a number of setbacks, Mark and Phillipa adopted two sisters in 2004. Mark talks about their experience of panel…

Setting up our family in one go
Audrey and Conrad share their thoughts and feelings on why they are ready to adopt two siblings.

An Adoption Diary: A real life account of adoption
This inspirational, real life story of one couple’s emotional journey to become a family through adoption is the first title in BAAF’s new Our Story series.

Diary of an adoption journey
What is it like to embark on the journey to adoption? Sylvia and Peter began theirs in early 2003 and, below, share some key moments along the way.

A marathon, not a sprint!
Thrilled to be approved in October 2002, Jackie and Simon discover it takes time to find a child they can adopt.

I love my children for who they are
As a birth and adoptive mother who has been fostering for 20 years, Avril sees her role as championing the children in her care.

Last updated: 09 March 10

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