No-one could have written that script....
Paul and his wife, Belinda, have three birth daughters. The birth of their youngest child, who has Down’s syndrome, transformed their family life and sent them on the road to adoption…
If you have considered adopting a child with a disability or special need, or if you are a disabled parent considering adoption, then this is dedicated to you. If neither of these applies, then please read on anyway!
My wife, Belinda, and I have three birth children: Amanda aged 19, Catherine aged 11 and Melissa, aged seven, who has Down’s syndrome.
Paul and Belinda with Amanda, Catherine and Melissa
Since I am partially sighted, and already have a child with fairly complex needs, you may wonder why Belinda and I ever decided to become foster parents and potential adopters. The answer is simple. Since the birth of Melissa, we have discovered a whole new world: she has brought new and diverse meaning to our lives in a way that only she could.
While the privilege of having two non-disabled children has brought fulfillment to our lives, rising to the challenge of raising a child with additional needs has brought great satisfaction and meaning to our family. This is why we decided to go one step further and adopt another little girl with special needs.
Approximately 18 months ago, we made contact with a voluntary agency and agreed that we would enrol upon the home study process, with a view to bringing another little girl with Down’s syndrome, or other special needs, into our family.
During the assessment process, much attention was given to my visual impairment and how it might affect my parenting ability. Fortunately, I already had three children of my own, which gave everyone a good idea that I was perfectly able to attend to a young child’s needs. I am pleased to say that, with the open-mindedness and ongoing support of the agency, we sailed through the approval process, and subsequently found ourselves on the ‘waiting list’.
Within a matter of days we had in our care our first short-term foster placement, who moved on to his new adoptive parents within three weeks. Several months later, we were approached to look after a newborn baby girl on another short-term fostering basis. We welcomed this with open arms. However, no-one could have written the script that followed.
Aspects of this baby girl’s behaviour, characteristics and feeding patterns were (in hindsight) slightly unusual. It transpired that this gorgeous little girl has cystic fibrosis, a life-threatening inherited disease which, with its prognosis, produced an opportunity for us to apply to adopt her. This was met with overwhelming approval from staff at our voluntary agency, and I am delighted to say that we are now being assessed with a view to being matched with her.
In short, we have come a long way in a relatively short space of time. My advice and recommendation to anyone looking to adopt is to follow your dreams. And if you choose to care, nurture and embrace the life of a child with additional needs, then there will be tough times, but don’t doubt that the emotional rewards will be overwhelming.
Paul
Originally published in the Be My Parent newspaper in November 2006.
This article is published with the kind permission of the people involved. You may download it for your own reference but if you wish to use it for any other purpose, please contact Be My Parent for authorisation: Be My Parent, BAAF, Saffron House, 6-10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Telephone: 020 7421 2666/5/4.
Last updated: 16 May 08
