Support

The best thing we've ever done Carol and Tony think they’ve got a normal family, full of normal ups and downs – with a daughter who just ‘happens’ to be adopted! They talk about the tears, the laughter, and the support that pulls them through.

I've had to learn the hard and fast way
When Molly was placed with Karen at the age of four, she couldn't do basic, simple things. With love and determination, Karen set out to help Molly develop to her full potential...

What is a Child Development Centre?
If your child has been diagnosed with developmental delay, he or she may well be referred to one of those centres. Find out what happens there...

With a little help from your friends
Whatever stage you’re at in the adoption or fostering process, chances are you will have heard of the term ‘support network’. This chunky phrase sounds quite intimidating, and it is easy to imagine that your social worker wants you to unveil a long list of close contacts, ready to drop everything in a flash if you were ever to call on them for help. But, actually, there’s no need to panic…

We couldn't do it without them
Kerrigan and Jason are a couple in their forties who hope to adopt. They gave up their metropolitan lives three years ago for the ‘good life’ in the middle of nowhere, far from family and friends – and have been busy building a support network ever since. Kerrigan tells their story…

“They’ve adopted him as well!”
Penny was a single carer who had just been assessed to adopt. Her family and friends made up a support network that didn’t have a clue about adoption! So why does Penny now say that she couldn’t have done it without them?

Is my social worker part of my support network?
Your social worker is not part of your support network the way that friends and family are, and cannot provide the same emotional support. But they are certainly there to help you and the placement succeed.

Getting people "on side"
Mary, a counsellor and support worker, helps run frequent one-off events that are proving very popular with prospective adopters in Portsmouth. She lets Sophie Offord in on the secret…

A support group for gay and lesbian adopters
New Family Social is a charity working for lesbian and gay adopters and their children throughout the UK. Founder Andrew Leary-May explains the importance of the group’s network of support and social activity.

Building a sense of self Kate Cairns explains how every child needs to know the story of their life, and to keep adding to it – not only to make sense of themselves, but also the world around them.

Who am I? Many adoptive and foster children will, at some point in their lives, ask questions about their identity, and wonder where they came from...

FASD: the invisible disability
Little research has been done in the UK on Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) yet we know it affects many children waiting to be adopted or fostered...

What is FASD?
Dr Mary Mather, Medical Director for Parents for Children, describes the impact on children of their birth mother misusing alcohol during pregnancy.

Hurdles and happiness...
Caring for their three adopted children with FASD has been a challenge, a learning process, as well as a source of happiness, for Ali and Barry...

Supporting carers of children with FASD: Parents for Children's FACT project
Parents for Children, a charity which places chidlren with very special needs, including those with FASD, into permanent families, has launched its Foetally Affected Children's Team (FACT) Centre of Excellence...

Helping your FASD affected child and yourself
Caring for a child with FASD can be occasionally challenging but there are many things you can do to help yourself and your child

An amazing capacity to heal
Playing and acting out their story can be an important part of recovery for children in care who have experienced loss and trauma.

Helping your child ‘unlearn’
What can you do to help your child ‘unlearn’ the behaviours they have had to develop to survive?

Together in time
Joe was only four when Ruth and Ed adopted him, but the neglect and trauma he had experienced in his young life had left him angry and hurt. They received additional support to help care for their son in the form of music therapy.

Love isn’t always enough…
Ann, a Child and Adolescent Consultant Psychiatrist, explains some of the support available from Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) to help children manage their behaviours and emotions.

Making it work
Is becoming a parent compatible with holding down a job? Many people manage to do both, whether by choice or by obligation, others decide to give up work on becoming parents...

We fit everything in!
Sally and her husband are proud parents to Ross, 14, their adopted daughter Jemima, ten, and Louis, four. She talks about juggling full-time work with full-time parenting...

There’s no need to feel guilty
Debbie wanted to permanently foster but didn't think she would be considered as she was single, living in a council house and having to work...

The moment you’ve been waiting for...
You’ve been matched with a child, or a group of brothers and sisters, and very soon they will be moving into your home! There’s so much to think about and organise…

A very solid little unit
Suddenly becoming a parent when you have been used to living on your own can be quite a surprise, even if you think you have been preparing for it! Julia tells her story…

Sleeping in a magical space!
Kim and Paolo adopted Jade and Billie 18 months ago. Kim talks about how they welcomed them into their life – and how the girls welcomed them in turn.

Taking time to prepare
Bridget Betts is an independent social worker who has been in social work for 26 years. She explains how she works with parents to get ready for the arrival of their child…

Getting the most out of school
It's essential that adopters and foster carers ensure the lines of communication between home and school are kept open...

Do your homework!
Paul May, a freelance writer and adoptive father, shares his experience of advocating for his adoptive daughters at school.

When neighbours become good friends
When her neighbour decided to adopt, Marianne found herself unexpectedly drawn into a new role.

Crafty listening
Michael Mallows explains what is involved in ‘crafty’ listening.

Strength, not weakness!
Support is often used at times of crisis, but it can also be helpful to consider the support you might need beforehand, so as to avoid reaching breaking point.

The good news, the bad news...
From her wide-ranging experience as birth parent, foster carer, social worker and writer, Kate explores why learning can be so hard for some children.

How many grannies am I allowed to have?
When a child enters a new family, as well as their new mother, their new father, their new siblings, they have to take on board a whole, sometimes complex, network of new relatives...

Life story support
Adoptive mum Helen talks to Suzanne Harding about helping her two daughters understand their past.

Last updated: 02 February 10

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