What is an adoption exchange event?

Adoption exchanges are about making sure that children do not wait unnecessarily for a suitable adoptive family, and similarly that approved adopters are not left in limbo as they wait to find out about possible children. Exchanges are not alternatives to looking in Be My Parent and Children who Wait, for having your details on the Adoption Register for England and Wales, or for making sure your social worker is doing all they can to search for the child or children who will become part of your family. But, as an additional way of making links, adoption exchange events offer something different and special, which is why they are now taking place quite frequently in many different parts of the country.

So how do adopters attend and what happens? First of all, you need to be invited, and respond to say that you plan to attend. There is a good reason for this: sensitive information about children will be available, so the social workers and administrators organising adoption exchanges events need to be sure of who is coming. Systems for inviting people may vary slightly, but once you have confirmed your attendance, you will usually receive information to help you find the venue. You are likely to be given a time slot during which you are requested to arrive, and any other useful information to help you get as much as possible out of the experience.

Light refreshments are usually provided on site or available nearby, and it is as well to set aside a couple of hours or so, as you may want to walk around more than once and take time to reflect on what you see and hear. It’s a good idea to take your letter of invitation to confirm who you are when you arrive. It’s also worth making sure your profile is up to date, and that you and your agency have several copies for distribution. Although these events are about children, they are not suitable for children to attend, so a usual expectation would be that you make other arrangements for those already part of your family.

Adoption exchange events are held in large venues, perhaps a town hall, community centre or leisure centre. The number of agencies represented varies. It could be twenty, thirty or even more. On arrival, you will find a reception area and, after you have signed in, arrangements are usually made for you to be linked with your social worker, or someone else from the agency that you are with. This is why attending at a prearranged time is important, as it helps to manage the flow of people. You will immediately be aware of lots of stands displaying details of waiting children and adopters. These will be staffed by workers from one agency, or in the case of a consortium, by staff from a group of local authorities and voluntary agencies – such as NCH or Barnardos.

Exchange events can be really useful and exhilarating – after all, this may be the day that you first hear about your future son or daughter! – but you may also find them a little overwhelming. You will be surrounded by lots of information about children desperately needing families, some of whom have already waited far too long despite the best efforts of those responsible for their futures. You will also be aware of many other people in the same situation as you are, although most of them will probably be strangers.

Whereas some people feel fine about going round by themselves and trying to identify children whose needs they could meet, others prefer to be accompanied by their social worker, at least initially. As you approach the different stands, there will be opportunities to talk with social workers about children their agency is family-finding for, and to give them your details if any child or children appear to be a possible link for you. Sometimes short films of children can be viewed on the agency’s laptop computer. And even if your conversation with a social worker doesn’t seem fruitful in respect of a specific child, it’s always worth leaving a copy of your profile so people remember you are available. Other children may be at an earlier stage in the process, but before too long the agency will begin searching for the right family for them, and it could be you!

So what are the benefits of adoption exchanges as a way of linking children? One of the main things is that they provide adopters with a ‘reality check’ about children waiting for families. And it is often possible to speak to those who know the children, and this can bring them to life in a way that is both immediate and engaging. Because they increase awareness of the wide range of children needing families, they can sometimes cause adopters to rethink what they could offer, and to whom.

As well as being an event for adopters, adoption exchanges events also bring together staff from many different agencies. This helps to strengthen networks and increases awareness. They can be particularly helpful for placing black and minority ethnic children, and indeed some exchange events focus specifically on these children, as often they wait the longest. Staff from the Adoption Register for England and Wales may also be present, and they too will have a number of profiles on display.

So if you are an approved adopter, you may want to ask your social worker if there is an opportunity for you to attend an adoption exchange event. Even if you are in the early stages of approval, it may still be useful for you to find out about the kinds of children who may be available. Although they cannot work miracles for all the children and families waiting, exchange events can make a very significant contribution towards transforming lives.

Marion Hundleby

Marion Hundleby co-ordinates the North London Adoption Consortium, chairs adoption and permanence panels, and works as an independent consultant. A version of this article is also published on the website of the North London Adoption Consortium. Published online in Be My Parent on 18 September 2007.

Last updated: 18 September 07

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